Ever since I first heard Beck’s “Where It’s At” I knew what I wanted to do with my life — lie, cheat, or steal to get myself two turntables and a mixer. Well, guess what? That’s what I did, and ever since I’ve been spinnin’ the sickest, illest tracks and packin’ the dance floor with party people who raise the roof night after night. It’s not their fault, 'cause I make it too hard for them to just sit there on their hands. Nope, daddy’s gotta get down, son.
With years of experience under my belt, you won’t find a more qualified, dignified or electrified person to throw down the music for your special gig. My rates are reasonable, my pants are pressed, and I’m waiting for you to hire me.